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Some well-meaning friend gave Tony a set of bagpipes to celebrate his new job at the Scotch Tape factory. Tony absolutely adores wheezing out covers of “Down with the Sickness,” but his roommate Brad, who works nights, is less than thrilled. An indoor slime cannon made Todd the hero of his nephew’s fifth birthday party, but for some reason, he didn’t get invited back when little Tommy turned six.
When picking out a Father’s Day gift, it’s important to remember that mom is likely on the receiving end of that present as well. When he opens up that bottle of cologne that smells like garlic, what are the odds that it gets “accidentally” tidied up with the wrapping paper. So that your present doesn’t share the fate of the leg lamp from A Christmas Story, here are some Father’s Day gifts that mom will appreciate.
A Clean Face
Your dad claims to have grown up splitting firewood to heat a bath and shaving with a Bowie knife. Maybe he did, though your mother tends to roll her eyes whenever he reminisces about his childhood. At any rate, there’s no need for him to cook his own lye soap anymore. He’s already obsessed with that fitness tracker, so turn him on to the kind of body tech that will give him the cleanest face of his life. If that summer in the mines made a man of him, he can surely hack some charcoal face wash. And while mom might not appreciate him second-guessing how this season’s oil spill is being handled, she will surely appreciate the clean-up offered by a gel moisturizer for oily skin. Heck, go ahead and throw a silicone body scrubber in there, too.
A Matching Set
Dad loved the “World’s Greatest Dad” thermos that photoshopped his head on the body of a machine-gun wielding centaur. But you’ve noticed that when your parents brought a cheese platter to that “Opera Beneath the Stars” event, the thermos didn’t make it into the picnic basket, even though it would have kept the hot cider hot. Give your dad a set of high-tech drinkware that will survive the stress test of rugged excursions and pass the taste test of a more sophisticated crowd. Your parents will be able to share a more relaxing date night.
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A Relaxing Moment
Maybe both your parents would benefit from a couple’s massage. Book it! They have plenty of reasons to welcome an hour of relaxation. But like most long-term roommates, that hour of relaxation might look like being able to share the same space without having to share the same activities.
Maybe your mom enjoys your dad’s passion for MMA fights, but every now and then, she’d rather do a living room task without the soundtrack of breaking cartilage. Alternatively, buy your dad two tickets to the kind of event in which your mom gets to decide if that sounds like a fun date or an opportunity for some peace and quiet while he splits nachos with his golfing buddy.
An Active Agenda
Maybe your dad has all the stuff he needs or prefers to pick things out himself. He doesn’t want to sit around and relax. He wants to be out doing things. Even if the last year has limited his ability to enjoy his usual adventures, there’s still plenty to do. Just remember that if you go with breakfast in bed, make sure mom gets some pancakes. And if you order a pizza party, maybe keep in mind that she’s not a fan of pepperoni.
An Organized Space
Your dad has his own system for keeping things clean and organized. Your mom has her own system for keeping things clean and organized. Somehow, things are not clean and organized. There is no need to take sides or wade in there yourself. You know who has a good system for keeping things clean and organized? Professional cleaners and organizers. They can take some chores off your dad’s plate and hand it back so polished that he can see his newly-clean face in it.
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A Family Frame
Do something that fills in the picture for the whole family. That could literally be a picture of the whole family, or it could be one of those ancestry services that helps map out the family tree. Or give him something that makes it easier to connect with relatives across the country.
You know your dad, but your mom does, too. So why not involve her in the gift-buying process? If she picks out something that she might enjoy as well, that just doubles the chances that it is going to get used. And if you want to deploy a Father’s Day gift that thrills her, too, enjoy the surprise that much more.
