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Remember, lying is the DEVIL.
So, let’s be honest with each other from this point onwards.
Alright, here are a couple of questions I need you to answer right now.
- Have you ever cared far too much about offending people?
- Have you worried if you’re cool enough to hang around with a certain group of people?
- Have you asked yourself if people around you are judging you?
- Have you ever felt that you’re not dressed well enough to attend certain gatherings & parties?
If your answers for the above questions are NO, then you absolutely need not read below this section. You’re perfect the way you are right now. Have Fun!
But, If you’re like me, and your answers are in affirmative to above questions, then we’re giving a way too much fuck about our surroundings than we should.
Don’t you think it’s stupid, and not good for our well being?
I think it is. It could make us someone who doesn’t take a stand for anything, who stands nowhere, and not where we care to stand.
Should we not stop this today, right now?
So, this is about the cure. This is about being more confident, taking control of your life, loving who you are, and living a life full of happiness.
First, let’s break the art of dressing the way you want and not give a fuck in small sections so it’s easy to understand and apply.
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Accept That You Give a Fuck
This is important; unless you’re honest with yourself nothing is going to move further.
Did you ever feel uncomfortable in any party or gathering because you thought you’re overdressed or underdressed?
Do you feel scared to wear bold colors in public even though you like wearing bold colors?
Do you feel embarrassed when you bump into an impeccably dressed person?
You do sometimes, right?
There is only one reason why this happens.
You simply give way too much fuck about your surroundings and people you interact with.
So, accept that you’ve been giving a fuck so far in your life.
Everyone Is Judging You Right Now
Yes, people are judging you right now. Many of them don’t like you. Many of them think you’ve no sense of dressing. Some people are even laughing at your outfit or your shoes or the way you styled your hair.
So, what you can do about it?
It is impossible for everybody to like you and it is very stressful too.
Even if you’ll try to please everyone, you’re most definitely going to fail.
Here’s a quote from John Lennon that best describes what you should do.
“Trying to please everybody is impossible - if you did that, you'd end up in the middle with nobody liking you. You've just got to make the decision about what you think is your best, and do it.”
No amount of efforts to please people who don’t like you will help.
So why waste time?
In fact the opposite will work much better. People will respect you more if you stand for yourself, and just tell them straight to their face that this is who I am and this is what I like to wear.
Yes, probably they won’t like it, but who cares?
Life is too short to living with someone else’s choice.
So, get out there, wear what you like, be confident in who you are and to hell with what people think.
Don’t Always Listen To The Experts
Most often than not the experts are clueless.
The fashion blogs (Yes, like this one), fashion gurus, the seminars, style guides, fashion books aren’t the answer.
They are not there to tell you what exactly you need to know. Well, some of them do insist that you do exactly as they say.
They are the experts who can’t do anything, but advise. They can tell you what is wrong with your jeans, but they can’t create a great one.
They can tell you the trending color of this season, but if you’d ask them the reason for it, most likely you’re going to get a dumb face as an answer.
I mean seriously, just because a few high street designers decide to make clothes in some particular color and feature them in a bunch of fashion shows, should it make that color the most popular color of the season?
But, if some experts are genuinely good, then they are there to give you some ideas, some guidelines, or some rules to learn and subsequently break.
So the bottom line is. Hear what experts say, but don’t always listen to them.
You Don’t Need Everyone To Like You.
“If your number one goal is to make sure that everyone likes and approves of you, then you risk sacrificing your uniqueness, and, therefore, your excellence.”
The World does not end if people don’t like you. Just embracing this thought can be so liberating and stress free.
Just think of this, nothing, absolutely nothing is going to happen if someone doesn’t like you the way you are.
Seriously, you don’t need to prove it to anybody; you don’t need to stay up to someone else’s expectations.
Just accept it that not everyone is going to like you, no matter how hard you try, someone, somewhere will hate you.
So, why bother?
This isn’t about disregarding other people’s feelings.
This is about releasing our stress about other people’s opinions.
There’s nothing wrong with being disliked, in fact you should be okay with not being liked by everyone.
Here are a few reasons.
- It allows you to be true to yourself.
- It gives you the power to say no.
- You can freely express your thoughts.
- You can truly be yourself and not fake around stuff.
Yes, you can wear your favorite clothes without worrying about others opinion.
How Do You Start Not Giving A Fuck?
We learned about the basic fears and notions we have about opinions of other people and how to break away from them.
Now, let’s look into the ways to actually implement the art of not giving a fuck in our lives.
Meditate. This may sound out of context here, but trust me it’s not. Meditation can help you gain deep insights of your own thoughts, beliefs and desires. Stay focused to your true self, and don’t give a fuck about things / people that don’t matter.
Be Confident. Be it the way you dress, or the way you project yourself to the outside world, just be confident and don’t care much about what others think.
Don’t be afraid. You will regret in the future when you’ll realize that you didn’t do something just because of the fear of other’s opinion.
Realize your insignificance. The World is vast and you’re small. The truth is that most people don’t even care that you’re alive. Embrace this and do as you wish.
Be courageous. It takes courage to do something you’ve never done before. Don’t be afraid to wear outrageous clothes, wear anything you like. Break the rules, wear a brown belt with black shoes, wear multiple patterns together, do anything you like and stand confident by that.
Get rid of expectations. You don’t need everyone to agree with you. You don’t need everybody to appreciate what you wear. Don’t expect someone to notice every time you put on your new clothes.
Don’t waste your time and energy on things beyond your control. Like you don’t control your birth or death, similarly you cannot control that not everyone around loves you. Accept that you’ve no control over many things. And that’s okay.
Make rejections less stressful. It’s okay to be rejected by someone. Let it be a girl you love, or your boss, even your best friend. There are chances that they won’t approve of everything you do even if they’re close to you. Accept that.
Act Fast. Thinking is the first step, but as you know thinking won’t get you anything. Actually doing what you’re supposed to do and consistently improving is what matters the most.
Practice. Sure it isn’t easy. But the moment you realize the benefits of this powerful philosophy, you will try your best to make this a part of your life.
Benefits of Not Giving A Fuck.
Now that you know the ‘how to’ part of this story, let’s look into some of the benefits that come with practicing this.
Less Worry. As you wouldn’t care about things that are beyond your control, you would stay stress free and spend more time on things you like.
More positivity. Not giving a fuck about things that don’t matter will help you focus on the positive sides of life. You will be focusing all your energy on stuff that makes you and people you care happy.
More Confidence. When you’re not worried about what others are thinking about you, your insecurities will go away. Being unique is what differentiates you from the crowd and you should be proud of that. When you don’t care about the opinions of others you will love yourself for who you are.
You won’t fear rejection. You will do whatever you like. Rejections won’t shatter your confidence and that can be a very good thing to be hugely successful.
You’ll take control of your life. You won’t waste time pleasing meaningless people, you won’t waste time worrying about stuff that don’t matter and focus on what you like.
People will respect you more. There are good chances that the people, who didn’t like you before, will start liking you just because you stood for yourself and you believed in yourself. You will express your feelings and thoughts fearlessly without worrying about others. People who think similarly will naturally respect you more and those who don’t will stay away.
Sure it isn’t easy, but it’s worth giving an effort.
Now, someone would ask, why should I even give a fuck about what you say, Sam?
The answer is simple,
You shouldn’t. If you think you already apply these principals to your life, then you don’t need to.
You’re fine just the way you are.
For the rest of you, this philosophy can be very powerful and has the power to completely transform your life.
Practice it regularly and you’ll see the results.
Signing off until next Tuesday. Stay awesome and remember to not give a fuck.