If you and your spouse are having difficulties in your relationship, it seems overwhelming.
Even if you both agreed to go to counselling you may not know how it can work. A relationship is work and anyone who tells you otherwise is kidding themselves.
So, as long as you and your spouse are both willing to put in that work there’s a good chance of getting help from counselling.
We created this list to help you go into marriage counselling with your eyes open and the best chance for success.
Be Willing to Compromise
We’ll be totally honest, if you aren’t willing to make compromises you won’t get much from counselling. Being in a relationship is all about adjusting your life to live with another person.
Even if you feel you are 100% in the right about something you need to be willing to compromise. Couples counselling is focused on treating you and your spouse as a unit.
Unlike regular therapy, the focus won’t be entirely on you and your needs. You have to go into it knowing what to expect.
For this reason, it’s important you find a counsellor you can both build a rapport with. Spend some time learning about marriage counseling in Denver to pick out the best counsellor for your needs.
There’s no reason your relationship should end because you accidentally found a bad counsellor.
Manage Your Expectations
Even the best counsellors won’t be able to save a relationship that’s beyond repair. If there’s no trust and no willingness to compromise on both sides it will be difficult to progress.
That isn’t to say you should give up hope. It’s always a good idea to sit and talk with a neutral party. Remember to keep things focused.
Don’t let marriage counselling turn into a way to attack your spouse with lists of grievances. Focus on the clearest and most pressing issues to repair. If you can figure out a way past the issues that are pushing you to the brink you can come back to smaller problems.
Be Ready to Work
The best marriage counselling in Denver isn’t about airing your grievances and having the therapist pick a ‘winner’. It’s about figuring out how and sometimes if, you can live with your spouse and keep your life together.
Too many people going into couples counselling believe that their spouse is the only one who needs to change. If this is your or your partner’s attitude there’s only so much a counsellor can do.
A relationship isn’t always happiness and easy times. There will be low points, breaches of trust, and other issues that have to be dealt with. Good marriage counseling helps give you both the tools to start working through your problems.
Expect There to Be Some Pain
Dealing with emotions, especially emotions about your spouse, can be extremely painful. This is especially true if one or both of you hurt the other through infidelity or some other breach of trust.
There’s an old saying, a good compromise has everyone leaving disappointed. With marriage counseling, this is extremely accurate.
Talking about intensely private things, making yourself vulnerable, can bring up feelings you’ve been trying to hide. It’s only once you start doing these things that real healing and relationship progress can begin.
Be Open to Changing Yourself
The desire to become a better person is a huge part of modern society. The will and determination to actually do it though, that’s in short supply a lot of the time.
Most couples counsellors will give both of you homework after each session. Sometimes it will be to reflect on specific things or to read a book or practice meditation. Both parties need to carry this out to see real progress.
Too many marriages end because one or both parties are unwilling to bend or change. If you truly want to save your relationship you have to be willing to make adjustments to your life.
Going into marriage counselling can be incredibly upsetting for many people. Just remember that admitting you need help and following through makes you stronger than the majority of people. Find a great counsellor in your area today and begin repairing your relationship.