Dating as a single mom or single dad is a lot different, and it requires various things that should be considered. It becomes more of a serious business when you have a child because now it is not only you in a relationship, but your child is involved in the relationship. Love can come at any point in your life, and you should always keep the doors open. However, there are certain factors that you must consider. We will guide you through the choppy waters of the dating world with our tested and tried recommendations.
When you start to date, make sure you have gone through these steps. An internal and external analysis often proves good before jumping into any relationship. When you are a parent, the level of such analysis intensifies and needs careful and complete thought.
Wait A Year
It is called the “one year rule.” After divorce and custody settlements, you should wait a year to give anyone a chance again. This year is very crucial. You learn to make your way with your kid as a single parent, and you adapt to the new realities of life within this year. The feeling of emancipation is excellent, but you have to put the thing to work for you.
Dating tips for a single parent would always start with this very advice. Never jump into a relationship right after your separation. Remember that it is not just you, but it involves your kid too. A year is enough to emotionally and physically settle down.
Confront Your Issues
Dating as a single parent requires a lot of souls searching before getting into a relationship. You have your last relationship that has ended up, and now you have a kid. Separations always take a toll on mental health, but it can be far worse when you have a kid. Hence, the most appropriate thing to do as a single mom or dad is to confront your issues and get yourself in order before taking another massive step in your life.
You have to realize that you need time to heal. Meanwhile, you work on your issues. Let's be honest, and every relationship takes a piece of oneself with it. Hence, ending a relationship and starting a new one should be separated by a year-long self-searching. Notice if you have become moody? If you get angry? Emotional? Or you feel any kind of emotion way more than a normal you would feel. Then it is a sign that you need to work on yourself. Therapy helps!
Let Go Of Guilt
Now, we know you have been putting effort into making your previous relationship successful. You have tried a lot. Many times you did it for the sake of your child. Still, you ended up separate as a single parent. Often one can take enormous guilt for that and do not even notice it. This guilt is hidden deep inside, and it is perilous. The responsibility will make you put a lot of unnecessary effort into your next relationship.
This guilt may make you weak and dependent upon the next person that comes into your life. Just because if something goes wrong, you may blame yourself because of your last relationship. Come out of that guilt and recall the amount of effort you tried to put in your previous relationship each day, but it just was not supposed to be. So be it and move on with your life.
Know What You Want
You must make your mind clear about what you want in a person considering that you are not only thinking about yourself now but your kid. So adjusting yourself and adjusting your kid too with the new partner should always be planned. How would it go about? What habits would you like to prefer in your new partner? What should the mindset be like?
You should know beforehand whatever you are getting yourself into. This is the essential rule for dating as a single dad or a single mom. It would help if you were proactive in dating.
Give Online Dating A Chance
Online dating is new, and usually, young people are into it. Nevertheless l, it is becoming popular with people of all ages. There are many good people in the online dating spaces.
You are more likely to get your best matched when you put up all your priorities on your profile. Rather than searching for a person in a physical space, online space gives you a direct ticket to get to know as many people of your choice as you like.
Be Transparent With Your Kids
Your relationship will also involve your kids. Hence, it would help to keep yourself open with your kids and inform them of every development in your dating life. Whoever you date ultimately becomes a part of their lives too. You should talk to them, convey your feelings and listen to them in turn.
A constructive dialogue between you and your kids is the backbone of a peaceful relationship between you and them.
Be Upfront That You Are A Parent
Your date must know beforehand that you are a parent. You were dating as a single parent is very different than dating when you do not have kids. Your kids become the focal point of the world that means you invest a lot of time in them. So your partner should know what they are getting into.
Dating a single parent comes with double responsibility, as your partner will have to make an effort to get liked by your kids, too. That is how you know you are dating the right person.
Be Thoughtful About Introducing Someone To Your Children
Your dating life could affect your child's life. Hence, you should never jump into relationships without knowing enough about that person and introduce them to your kids.
Oftentimes, your kids may develop a feeling of attachment, and if your relationship ends as soon as it starts, then it can take a toll on your kids' emotions too. Also, please do not jump into relationships consecutively without any breaks in them. Let your kids take their time too!
Name Any Challenges Up Front
If you are facing any challenges while dating your partner, you should not hold back on any negative thoughts. If something is not right, you should say it upfront. Now is not the time to compromise on major issues. Resolve them because remember your kids are into it as well.
You should communicate with your partner well and do not shy away from enlisting the challenges he or she might face while dating you.
Never, Ever Settle!
Dating as a single parent means giving a considerable amount of time before taking any big step. It would help if you did not settle until you have given this person an appropriate amount of time. Because separation is worse, but multiple partitions might take you into a lot of therapy!
Remember that you have just adjusted your life as a single parent, and readjusting for someone you feel in the moment is the right person will be a step taken in a hurry. It can prove harmful later on. Take a considerable amount of time!